this is hard

I love you ... got a problem ? well other may say i'm over reacting but, it's not my fault,it's my feelings >.< don't worry i hate it too ~

Who am I saying it to? the japanese baka guy or that yamada buta ryosuke?? 

I hate everyone right now ><  

gommen ;_;

serious case

ok.. TIME UP !!! I really want to get thing out of my chest *sigh* you see, i'm inlove with yamada right? and he's getting more handsome than ever ;A; and other people is recognizing him and wants him, look at his picture his hideous !!

see?? =.= and for this, i'm hating him (a little) it's not because of his appearance, well maybe! I remembered, I hate muscle guys , well but it's just a minor problem but the main is.. why the heck many people like him SO much? everyday, there is a fangirl of him... I don't hate it , I just... don't like it ><

And since i'm thinking of a way to get out of this problem, i'm needing a new bias for sure, I thought of going back to aiba my love but I remembered, there are more girls who likes him and his age... TOO old?  but I love him itsumademo ♥ Then I saw inoo kei ~ he's so like perfect for my new bias, I mean he has the fewest fans in JUMP then he's cute, he looks like a girl (i like girls) and he looks like a nice guy nae~ :3

Now this is the case ... I want kei but I love yamada, it's not easy to change a bias you know,,it's hard, I can't give up something I value for a long time (well it's just a short time it's just 1 yr) but still.. yamada is someone, well it's his fault though.  kei is originally my niban and if he becomes my no.1, yamada is finish, he will be in my last rank , well because he has no place anymore . Kei ~ daisu...I cant even continue it because i'm still not sure, well they don't even care right ? what so serious about this ? =.= they don't even know me,, but it's ok, i'm just a fan, my love for them is just an idol to a fan ... I hate that fact but it's better than to have too much expectations ne~ ^^ 

busy as ant

riggghhttt~ so now we'll have periodical test this week and it's SERIOUSLY annoying,, we have to memorize the periodic table in our chemistry baka baka baka baka >< it's ok to memorize, but why do we have to memorize it's atomic number? and it's mass number? are we gonna use it in future?

i hate it, then in geometry, I can't understand a single thing (a little maybe) ... I hate angles they are so not important to me, aren't they? how can I use it ? i'm not going to be an engineer... because my dreams is way too far from angles, i'm not dreaming myself computing what angles connect in "x" , i wanna be an akb member not a boring nerdy life, know what I mean? of course you do. tsss.. then the teacher will say, ''that's a basic math problem", WHAT ? basic math problem ?? no way. come on people it's not my fault i hate math, it's the subject has the problem on it's own 

Last one, in our history class, what's the point in learning old stuff? I mean does these people knows me? do they know my story too? do they know my past? why do I have to study it? i can live with the present, and can past change my future when i'm already living in the present, it's like a yesterday that can't be back because tomorrow is still waiting, get it ???

.

now what?

now that I say what's on my mind, i'll give advantages, ne~ I realize when your really want something, you'll do everything, eventhough you know it'll make you crazy, This school year, I feel I want to pass, to have better grades that's why i have to sacrifice... cool right? i want to make importance of everything(though i can't be the best for myself), i want to be responsible. My family is having financial problems and we still haven't paid my school, i'm the only one who is studying in a private school the reason i'm studying hard. I want to help my parents i'm the first child and since next school year i'm gonna graduate, i don't want to end my highschool life. aaaaa~ time is so fast ne~

but don't worry i'm enjoying because i have this FRIENDS